If only the Democrats would fund my beautiful wall. Once the wall is built there will be no need for US troops to ever leave our wonderful country. Instead of deploying all you wonderful people to terrible locations like this godforsaken desert we just deploy you to the wall where you can stand guard and protect the country we all love.

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Candidates must file campaign finance reports today. The deadline is midnight real dolls real dolls0, but we’ll likely get an early preview of the reports from candidates including Mayor Adrian Fenty, who has been particularly successful at raising money. Check back with us and we’ll tell you who has money to spend during the last few weeks of a very heated primary campaign season.